Saturday, 10 December 2016

I am a confusing human being.

(Before starting this post (well technically it's already started, I know, but shush) I'd like to publicly announce that I love how thought light-bulbs-on-strings look. Why are they so pretty?! I'm confused. It's just electricity and glass, right?)


CONFUSION.

We all face confusion in our lives. Some more than others, but we've all got it. Confusion about life, confusion about God, confusion about family members, confusion about the Bible, confusion about yourself, confusion about everything. What do I do? Who the flipping bananas even am I? For what reason am I breathing? Where is my purpose? Will I ever be able to fulfil my dreams? Endless intertwining questions; endless unanswered questions; endless uncertainty fills people's mindsets. So much confusion all over the world, am I right? 

Sometimes I have it all figured out. I can face the world and I'm confident in who I am. I feel like I know who I am and that I know what I want to do and what I stand for. But then confusion decides to take a peek into my life and huh, wait, what, what is this thing called me? I think I'm a such confusing person sometimes. Like, wow, so confusing that almost every time I do any sort of personality quiz I have a different answer! Sometimes - actually, quite often - I might be seen as an extrovert; I laugh with people and I make lame jokes and that I don't care that aren't funny and I love being social. But sometimes I want to be alone and just talk to God and stalk people on the Internet and watch Youtube videos in my private little bed. And I don't want to open up and be energetic with fellow human beans.

I don't get offended quickly, but then there's this one thing that literally isn't even offensive than guess what people?! It offends me. Same with say, change. I like change mostly - it's exciting and I like the idea of new metaphorical chapters. I'm excited to finish school next year and go to university. But then a stupid little change that no-one notices and that some people might not even consider change? I am sad. Sometimes a lovely evening filled with wonderful people can leave me feeling oddly sad. Why though. There is no logic in me sometimes.

I AM BALLY CONFUSING. (Almost as confusing the Internet connection in my room today.) (Which says a lot.)


Yesterday I went to Youth Group, and everyone had to write 'encouragement notes' to each other. I love writing encouragement notes to people (probably more than getting them; see how confusing I am?!) and one girl wrote to me: 'I really like your humour. I don't always get it but that's ok.' I thought that was hilarious and well, I'm not surprised. My 'humour' is very confusing indeed. Half I the time I don't even think it's vaguely funny myself, I just say it because it needs to be said by someone. :-P

We all are confusing human beings; I know it's not just me! The news is filled with confusion and society tells us to 'rely on our feelings' which really is a very bad piece of advice for confused people, if you think about it. There is no need to tell me, oh don't worry, you're not alone in this - I know I'm not. Actually, I'm way less confusing than I was last year - I feel like this year I've really sort of 'figured stuff out.' And honestly, it's not that big of a deal, when I feel like a confused person. It really isn't. I'm not one for over-analysing and I like to tell myself, 'Naomi, buckle up, and carry on with life.' Confusion is no reason not to search for answers, of course. Prayer helps; writing stuff down helps. But telling yourself it's no big of a deal and not to over-analyse helps a terrible load too.

This post is Very Random, and Rather Pointless... but oh well. I am queen of this place. ;-)


So far this Saturday has consisted of a tired me procrastinating, doing French, and writing this blog post. Not to mention wasting time. I will leave you; leave the screen, and do my duties. Go yonder, and be wise. Eat chocolate, listen to Pentatonix on repeat, and don't worry if your dance moves are awkward. Celebrate your confusing personality and just try to go with the flow, because it's the only way it'll work, have my word for it. 

Have a good day, internauts. *insert heart-emoji*

31 comments:

  1. For a pointless post, my friend, your meaning and understanding went straight home to me :). Does that mean I'm a confusing person? Hee, hee.

    I just read your "Welcome"; luv it. We definitely have something in common. :)

    Your blog is one of the most homey and relaxing places on the internet.
    Thanks for it, girl.

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    1. Hahaha, I suppose we're both confusing together then. ;-) Thank you so much, dear Eowyn! You're wonderful.

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  2. I'm confused at how I have such an insightful and wise friend. :-)

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    1. Wait, who's insightful and wise? I'm confused.

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  3. "Eat chocolate, listen to Pentatonix on repeat, and don't worry if your dance moves are awkward." BEST LIFE ADVICE EVER. #winning

    <3

    (Oh, by the way: I FINISHED MY FIRST SEMESTER OF GRAD SCHOOL YESTERDAY!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY TO BE DONE!!!0

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    1. Hahaha, THANK YOU. :-)
      Ohhh congratulations, Jessica!

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    2. Thanks so much!! I'm busy making a loooooooooooooooooooong list of all the "fun books" I want to read and all the movies I want to watch, now that I have time :-)

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  4. Ahhhh, yes. I was explaining to my mom how I might not set a Goodreads reading goal for myself next year and it snowballed into me pouring out how I need to refocus my priorities, but I don't know how to, yada yada.

    Really so many things you said are me. I started journaling to have some way to think stuff out and I hope it will help.

    Prayer is important too.

    This is really good. <3

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    1. Well, *I* am not setting a Goodreads challenge next year. I want to enjoy reading and do so at a comfortable pace next year. This year I felt sick of reading because of the Goodreads goal. :-P

      Journalling and Prayer are two excellent medications for confusion. ;-)

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  5. "I really like your humour , I don't always get it but that's ok". Loved that! You brought out the inner struggle that I always go through!
    It's want to be with people one minute and can't stand them the next. Weird
    Loved your post as usual!

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    1. Me too! It made me smile. :-)
      HAHAHA YEAH SAME. We're both weird then.
      Thanks, Morgan.

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  6. *sigh* This was a beautiful post, Naomi. And so true. Life really is a puzzle, isn't it? I'm so glad God isn't confused the way we are, though, and that He's able to keep leading us forward even when we have no idea where we're going.

    "Half the time I don't even think it's vaguely funny myself, I just say it because it needs to be said by someone." Haha. You're such a fun person, Naomi. :D

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    1. Aymen yes. God is not a God of confusion, but a God of peace. That's a Bible verse, but I forgot where. ;-)

      Awww. *BLUUUUSH*

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  7. I tend to be quite confidant and assured of everything during the day, but then right after I climb into bed, I come crashing down and my brain does it's very best to crush me but listing all the reasons why my dreams won't come true. And then I wake up and I'm just fine and I have very few doubts that I will be able to get what I want and do what I want. It's very strange. I guess that last fifteen minutes in each day is just my confidence winding down for the night so that it will have plenty of energy to get me through the day. :)

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    1. Ohhh yes. This happens to me too sometimes. I think it's because when you're alone and ready to sleep, it's when you start to THINK and then suddenly... everything's a confusing mess. :-/

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  8. Excellent advice. I am currently quite confused. Muddle thriugh really is all we can do. (I love your humor!!) Xx

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    1. Oh dear, I hope you feel less confused about life soon. xx

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  9. All hail Queen Naomi, long may she reign!!!

    Seriously though, I don't mean to be stalker-ish or weird, but I truly love you and your sense of humor. You're such a wonderful bundle of silly, sweet and serious.

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    1. This comment made me smile so much, thank you Lissy!! xxx :-)

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  10. I am really loving your blog. Just thought I would say that.

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  11. And of course this post was great. i am going through weird emotions that I need to sort out right now and I am just confused but its okay

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    1. Thank you so much, Vanessa. It makes me so happy when people say they enjoy my blog. I'm sorry life is confusing and tough right now. *hugs*

      (I don't know if you believe in God, buuut I know that God loves you and he's there for massive help deals. :-))

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  12. Just, thanks for writing this, Naomi. I know. I totally understand that "oddly sad feeling" which comes sweeping in when you're supposed to be having fun or something.:/ And lately I feel like I've gotten so much more stable and then BANG come emotions and hormones.
    Sometimes I can't wait to be 40!!

    ~Rilla Blythe

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  13. *sigh*

    Ah yes. Confusion. It seems to follow me and jump out from behind and scare me all the time. I get confused a lot. So many times I've sat thinking, "Who even am I? Who is this I'm walking around as? What the heck am I doing?" Doubting is very easy to do, and very hard to get rid of. That's why we need Jesus, to get us back on our feet. :)

    Haha, I can relate to the humour thing! Sometimes I say things that I don't consider that funny just because yeah, it just NEEDS to be said. People graciously laugh anyways. ;P

    ~Miss Meg

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  14. "Who the flipping bananas even am I?" I relate to that quote on a spiritual level.

    lol I just found your blog and this was the most pure post I have read in a while. how are you so precious? and relatable? haha. aww. okay but seriously, I think we're very much alike. confusing. weird. constantly changing. unsure. optimistic. random humor.
    I love it.
    Im really looking forward to reading more about you and your perspective about the world. you seem like a delightful individual :)

    HAVE A LOVELY DAY, BEAUTIFUL!

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    1. AWWWW. Thank you so much, Faith! Your message warmed my heart. xxx

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  15. Love it so much <3 <3

    I over analyze a lot, so this is a good reminder for me. God is helping me get over it, so thanks for being part of that!

    I bally love you, even if you're confused :D

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  16. Also, your comments are always such beautiful encouraging things, because YOU are such a beautiful encouraging shine-r of God's light, and He has awesome plans for you, and your relish for the life and talents He's given you thrills Him. Keep in mind ;)

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  17. I relate to this oh-so-much. Thank you for putting all the confusion in life into words. Your blog posts never fail to inspire me. :)

    Ps. Lightbulbs on strings are beeaauutifuul.

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Leaving me a comment is like walking by my house and dropping a little note in the post-box. I mean, it's really nice of you. So thanks.