Wednesday, 30 November 2016

The Life of Blogger-Person


(Note: this blog post is meant to be a joke. Don't take it seriously by any means.) (Also I had no people in particular (except myself in no.2) in mind while writing this. Just don't get offended by anything here, okay, it's all meant to be funny. It might not be funny, but it's meant to be. Ha.)

1. Blogger-Person Starts Blog
First there's an ugly header, a layout which wobbles and needs tweaking. But Blogger-Person is proud of her (let's make Blogger-Person a girl, even though I know there are guy-bloggers) blog and she spends sweat, blood and tears trying to make it as nice as *insert her favourite blog* which, after some time, she realises will never happen. The first post is written in a flurry of excitement and oh, gleeful is the day when the follower-box has more than one for company. The first follower, after all, was Blogger-Person herself, because it's so much fun to see your own posts coming up in your own dashboard, ammirite?


2. Blogger-Person posts. A lot.
The first year of blogging often occurs in the years of little schoolwork and responsibilities. Happy were the days when Blogger-Person posted every day, sometimes twice a day, sometimes thrice. Inspiration was never low and inwardly she scorned those other blogger-peoples who said that they 'didn't know what to write about.' Why! The notion to her was impossible. Not know what to post about? The idea. The blogging world was an adventure and a thrill... she had 30 followers and finally had a celebrity status. And she really has the hang of it now. Like, she's giving all the New-Blogger-People advice.

3. Blogger-Person makes friends with other Blogger-People
This is an important stage in Blogger-Person's life and wins many new followers for her gain. If she's lucky some of her own favourite Blogger-People start interacting with her obviously it's time it make all the followers jealous by writing loads and loads of posts on how much fun they're having on their epic meet-up and by making sure to mention tons of inside jokes in the comments. Because it's so fun to tease readers and to brag about how intimate blogger friendships are. 


4. Blogger-Person moves blog & gets a fancy layout
The old blog posts are just far to embarrassing. Blogger-Person has changed and grown so much since she started this blog. Really, it is time for a new chapter in her life. She will continue blogging but it is time to venture in a new Blog. This time it is modern, SO LEGIT and fancy-schmancy. The title is the name of Blogger-Person and the sidebar has a cool gadget to show off the Instagram pictures. The blog posts only have pics made by Blogger-Person, and gifs of famous people, because Blogger-Person is no longer interested in what she was very interested in when she started blogging. She has grown; changed; and she is so so thankful for her darling followers for sticking around on her journey. *

5. Blogger-Person disappears forever
...but she has an Instagram account which is 100% active, so it's not like she's dead.
The disappearance of Blogger-Person is always mysterious, sometimes just offensive because we can SEE that she has a LOT OF TIME on her hands just looking at the Insta Gram. Blogger-Person gets married, Blogger-Person disappears. That's how things work. Or Blogger-Person get's too high-and-mighty for her lil' blog, she now finally has real life friends. Or Blogger-Person simply is too busy, she will say. Sometimes, after two years or something, A-now-Older-Blogger-Person returns (waaaaaaaat *comment section turns ecstatic*) with the promise that she will post more often. But that post with that promise really was the very last blog post.


(*EMMA I PROMISE I DID NOT WRITE THIS WITH YOU IN MIND.)

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

If Period Drama Characters had Internet Bios #4


LARK RISE TO CANDLEFORD

@Laura_Timmins Lark Rise girl on an adventure in Candleford. Love my Par and Mar, poetry, journalling and my boyfriend.
@DameDorcasLane Instagram is my one weakness.
@AlfArless Hard working lad looking for more work in order to feed siblings. Music is my escape.
@ThomasBrown Postman of Candleford! Married to my wife! Sunday is for Church!
@thatgirlMinnie not minnie mouse, minnie from candleford! int that ectraodaniry! alf sure is lovely but il be persisterance.
@CAROLINEArless HIII LIFE IS GOOD! Just keep smiling and don't WORRY about the bills! It'll fall into place somhow promise
@JournalistDanielParish I'm a journalist and I'm proud to call Candleford my new home.
@MissEllison married to Thomas Brown so now my name is Mrs Brown, not Miss Ellison. Yay!
@MrRobertTimmins I'm a carpenter. Huband. Pa. Proud Lark Rise-ian.
@EmmaTimmins_mama Mama to five lovely kiddos, wife to a darling rascal!
@TwisterTurril I try onest I do! But then I do love a good drink. and I play music. and the pig is mine!
@QUEENIE "What a person believes isn't what they think, isn't what they say, it's what they do." - Myself
@FisherBloom Irish watch-maker boy. There is more to life than it seems.
@Gabriel_Cochrane The past is sometimes hard to leave behind. Ringer of bells.
@PearlPratt ::: dressmaker and sister ::: frills and furbelows ::: writer of the poem 'fly little bird.'
@youngersisterRuby also a dressmaker and and a sister ::: family is is important! :::
@EdmundTimmins my ma doesn't know i'm online says i'm too young. But i'm not. i go to the pub.
@Sydney I'm Sydney and I wear glasses and I'm a very good actor.
@Jamesdowland own a hotel which is cool, but my heart is broken because someone refused me.
@LadyAdelade Wife // Mistress // Maybe one day a Mama? // Melancholy
@SirTimothyMidwinter hey remember that time when we wrote our initials on the tree. let's talk about that for the entire episodes the viewers will think it's so romantic.
@CinderellaDoe THE WIND DO BLOW
@thatboyfriendPhilip You know, the boyfriend in Season One.


GONE WITH THE WIND

@Queen_Scarlett Fiddle dee dee don't you go around messing with me. #rememberimthequeen
@Rhett_richButler Frank guy, extremely rich, not to mention intelligent. I generally get what I want in the end.
@Ashleywilkes Melanie is my wife. I love you! Scarlett I love you. Please look after her. God willing, I'll be back.
@Melanie_Wilkes Wife of my darling Ashley and Mother of the sweetest son in the world. The world is filled with wonderful people! There is good in everyone, especially @Queen_Scarlett!
@MrsEllen_OHara "When you do good deeds, do not try to show off" {Matthew 6:1}
@IRISHO'Hara Being Irish is great it means you can drive horses really fast! Owner of Tara
@MAMMY Some things jus aint fittin but people awe not gonna listen dey listen to the chile instead! jus aint fittin!
@Suellenthegreat I HATE MY SISTER SHE STOLE MY BEAU AND THEN SHE DIDN4T CARE WHEN HE DIED
@Careen_theyoungest // Rest in Peace, Brent Tarlenton // Isaiah 40:11 //
@BrentWoot Tarlenton Redhead, twin brother of Stuart, we're gonna have fun at the barbeQ right?
@StartWoot Tarlenton Redhead, twin brother of Brent, we're sure gonna have fun at the barbeQ
@official_account_of_TARA Account run by @Queen_Scarlett . Contact me for good deals .
@IndiaWilkes some people suck
@BonnieBlueButler Bonnie Blue is going to be the princess of the whole world (account run by her loving father)
@Belle_Watling am i good or bad you decide i dont care
@theservantgirlprissy i can help woman whos gonna have a baby! scared of the war!
@WillBenteen The war may be over, but we still all have duties to face. Let us go and face them with joy.


LES MISERABLES

@JeanValjean Look up. Help others. Number: 24601. Life advice: don't steal bread.
@Fantine I dreamed a dream and then I died. #cuttinghairdoesnthelp #sellingteethdoesnthelp #savecosette
@Sweet_Cosette I have a heart filled with love for @Mariusthepoet ! He is everything!
@Mariusthepoet I have a heart filled with love @Sweet_Cosette ! She makes my chairs and tables look less empty.
@Eponinegirl Pluviophile / Third wheeling forever. #onmyown
@The_Javert My name is Javert. I repeat: My name is Javert. Looking for 24601. Look down unless there are stars.
@ENJOLRAS_RED Duuude we can DO this! RED AND BLACK ARE COOL COLOURS. Specially red. #Yolo #noreallythisisserious
@Gavroche I love elephants. Yes @ENJOLRAS_RED we can do this! #Yolo
@Madamethenardier DARLING Eponine. Ugh Cosette. Mistress of the house. I collect gross things. Mwhaha.
@MonsieurThenardier MASTER OF THE HOUSE. That's ME!
@thebishop I have a very detailed house. The candles are pretty. Do good deeds!

Sunday, 27 November 2016

5 Things on the Internet that annoy me


Happy first day of Advent. Happy National Craft Jerky Day. (No seriously, that's a thing.) Happy National Bavarian Cream Pie Day. (If you think I'm making this up, I'm not.) Today I'm going to complain about things on the Internet. Because it's fun. And because Internet can be extremely, extremely annoying. And yet, we're carried away by it and have patience for it.

1. Long intros on Youtube videos
UGH I HATE THIS.
This is probably the one that annoys me the most, and it's everywhere on Youtube. If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, let me elaborate. Many Youtubers, when they start a video, called say, 'DIY's for Christmas' they start the video with something like, 'wassup, guys!' and then they explain what they're going to do in the video. This I can manage. But then so often they just ramble on and on. Often they even say 'like this video!' in the INTRO. Like, NO! SO FAR THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN VERY BORING. And sometimes they say stuff like, 'Oh and one more thing...' and then finally after like a four minute intro, they say, 'Now let's get into the video!'
AS IF THE VIDEO HASN'T STARTED YET.
It HAS!
The video starts from 0:00. Duh.
So I get why people do intros, and short intros are fine. But really, even those aren't needed. Viewers aren't STUPID. They will get from the title that a video called 'DIY's for Christmas' is 'DIY's for Christmas.'  If it's a music video, they will get, okay, as soon as the video starts that it's a song. There is no need to explain. People can figure it out for themselves by just watching the video. And reading the title.
Rant over. Next rant.

2. Buzzfeed
Nuff said. Ugh.
The clickbait, the stupid useless-ness of it and the way it grabs time with meaningless articles about 'what cheese are you' and 'ten things that will make you say legit' or whatever. Buzzfeed makes me loose hope for humanity. Buzzfeed should read Ecclesiastes and realise how meaningless they are.

*insert random cute picture*


3. When ads don't even load!
Ads are an immense nuisance. Period. But what really takes the giddy biscuit is when they don't load and you have to WAIT FOR SOMETHING YOU HATE. *turns off caps* *turns off italics* You know what I'm talking about, right? When you're going to watch a video, and there's an ad before the video and then wifi gets bad and the ad won't load. Just... I WANT TO WATCH THE VIDEO. But there's an ad. And I have to go through the ad before the video - I accept that. But when the ad doesn't load... ugh, the way it plays on my patience. I'm quitting.

4. Serious 'sexy' selfies
WHY.
Serious selfies annoy me sooo much. I love selfies, I'm not one of those 'ughh teens with their stupid selfies' people - but SMILE PLEASE. THAT'S THE POINT. I don't get why people go all serious on pictures. It's not professional, or chique, or glam, or hot. It just looks plumb ridiculous. And then of course there are comments with like, 'OMG YOU'RE SO PRETTY' which makes me roll my eyes which makes the older generation turn around in their graves. (Duck-face selfies, of course, are terrible too. But I think we can all agree on that and don't need to talk about it. *shudder*)

5. Repost if you...
Repost if you love Jesus. Pin if you would stay up all night to convince out of suicide. Repost if your best friend is beautiful. Okay, these are all true and I've seen all of them, BUT I'M NOT GONNA REPOST. And that doesn't make me less of a human... I just don't want to repost it! I don't need to repost something to prove that this is true. This just bothers me because it makes me feel guilty about not spending some extra time posting something which will make other people feel exactly the same. Why is this a THING. :-P


(Also: We don't need another make-up tutorial. Or another cover of Let it Go. Or a duck-face selfie. And Instagram, I know legs exist. Stoppit.)

What are some things online that annoy you?
And I fully realise I sound like a very grumpy person in this post. Share if you agree. Like and subscribe and don't forget to comment! (Yeah, people say that way to much. If the post is good: You will get comments and likes and followers. But begging makes one sound so desperate!) (I find it hilarious when Youtubers with MILLIONS of followers say the 'Like and subscribe' thing. As if they're scared of not getting enough attention.)

Thursday, 24 November 2016

My 4 favourite Christmas Albums + New Christmas blog look!


Thanksgiving is over, which means I can officially start posting Christmassy posts without getting a scolding from Emma. Although, I've got to say, I have a good influence on her cuz two weeks ago she admitted to me she was really looking forward to Christmas too. So yes. Really, honestly, no-one is complaining. It is starting to become the end of November (waaat? It was literally January yesterday, I'm serious I'm dead serious) and therefore DUH WHAT DO I DO?

I LISTEN TO CHRISTMAS SONGS.


ALSO. I AM SO PROUD OF MY CHRISTMAS BLOG LOOK. I will stop freaking out after I've reloaded the page about ten-thousand times and viewed it from all the different angles my neck can manage. It looks hashtag legit and I have snow. (If only I had snow in REAL life and that my real life was legit, but oh well. Online life is all that matters, haha. :-P) Tell me if you approve of this blog look or if you're sad that I'm becoming all fancy-shmancy and that my blog look no longer feels like 'the old one.' (The only thing *I* don't like is something about the comment section and the labels at the bottom. But otherwise I'm really happy with how this turned out. :-))

Back to Christmas Albums: Here are my top four-favourite Christmas Albums.

4. Michael BublΓ©

I have said it before and I say it again: Michael BublΓ© voice is velvet. Dark sateen burgandy velvet. Silky scarlett velvet. Whatever. IT IS VELVET. I love his voice to bits and this Christmas Album is top notch beautiful and feel-good. I approve most strongly indeed. (And now I'm going to use the new blogger emoticons to express my love.)
πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—
(There.)


3. Libera

Slightly more traditional, this one, but there's nothing wrong with that! (Nothing.) This is officially the beautifullest boys choir in the entire world and their Christmas Album is SILVER. (I am so into metaphors, hadn't you noticed?) The voices are so pure and beautiful and just... zero glitches. How do these children do this.
πŸ‘ΌπŸ‘ΌπŸ‘ΌπŸ‘ΌπŸ‘Ό
(Now I've started with the emoticons, I might as well find one to describe each album. ;-))


2. Celtic Woman


I used to be obsessed with this album. AND LET'S BE REAL: I STILL AM. Definitely my my most-listened-to Christmas Album (I'm only putting it on no.2 because my current favourite is the following one) and definitely GOLD AND TOP NOTCH. Their voices are divine and the versions are different, fresh and still really dignified and beautiful. And the violin. Ahh. I love this album to bits and pieces and I've listened to it so many times.
😍😍😍😍😍


1. Pentatonix

I discovered these amazingly talented people last year, and I was immediately hooked, from the first song I listened to. When I went back to them several weeks ago, I was re-gobble-smacked at the awesomeness of their Christmas Album. All the sounds are made by humans (so yes, the backing track at the back, is someone human) and it sounds amazing. I love the twist they put on the songs (a Gospel version of Hark the Herald, for instance! Yus.) and I just can't get enough of these.
πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ
(This is actually the 'ok' emoji, but for me it's the 'wow that was soooo clever' sign.)


Okay, now you tell me! What is/are your favourite Christmas Album(s)? Are what emoji/sign would you use to describe it? (Answer this question in the comments. I can't hear you if you just whisper it to the screen.)

And tell me if I'm too early about the whole Christmas thing. I don't think so.

Monday, 21 November 2016

He is still here to take our breath away.


Jesus was popular. On re-reading the gospel of Mark, I now suddenly realise just how popular He was. It was crazy. It was amazing; this shows how huge of an impact He made. People from all over the place were filled with awe, amazement, wonder and curiosity for this man. This Man. Never forget the capital letters when you're talking about God, haha. This Man, who, for the record, kept his Identity secret most of the time. Jesus did miracles and told stories and preached the Gospel, and all these swarms and crowds to came to see Him.

"News about Jesus spread quickly over the whole region of Galilee." (And this was before emails, postal services, newspapers and telegrams. In case you had forgot.)

"When they heard about all he was doing, many people came to him from Judea, Jerusalem, Idumea, and the regions across the Jordan and around Tyre and Sidon." (W O W. This is more than just random village people. Much more.)

In case you didn't get this yet, it got so crazy that Jesus couldn't even walk around in town openly and sometimes he didn't even have time to eat. He had to make an effort to be alone to pray, and I bet He had to make an effort too, to have some 'alone time' with Him and the twelve apostles. (The thought of this must make some of us introverts nervous!)

"Many ran on foot from all town and got there ahead of them."
"Jesus could no longer enter a town openly."
"And again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat."

(Sometimes the crowd forgot about food too. But then that boy with the five loaves and two fish came to the rescue and Jesus did something amazing.) Anyway, point made: Jesus sure had more than twelve disciples. He had millions of them. The reactions mentioned in Mark all all just filled with AWE. Again and again, phrases like these are mentioned:

"People were overwhelmed with amazement."
"People were overwhelmed with wonder for Jesus." 
"The whole crowd was amazed at His teaching."
"The large crowd listened to Him with delight."

Imagine if in that time, the Internet was a thing. And if Jesus had a Youtube channel or something. Imagine the comments. We could take them right out of the Bible - the comments that people gave Him.

"We have never seen anything like this!"
"Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!"
"He has done everything well."

And of course:

"He is out of His mind."

... made by his own family. And we also have more nasty comments; enough to have Jesus killed later on. Enough for crucifixion. 

But about the huge amounts of awe. THE SAME AWE SHOULD STILL BE HERE. This is more than awe for a supermoon or awe for a movie or awe for an emotional fictional novel. Or awe for a family member or a spouse. Jesus is still here. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. We should still be filled with awe and amazement and wonder and curiosity, like those crowds in the time when Jesus walked on earth. We should yearn to learn more. God is here. He isn't gone. He hasn't withered under any dust. He is still here to take our breath away.

Saturday, 19 November 2016

Ask Me Anything // Answers


Here I am. The Answers. Here. Millions of them. 

This post is very long and I apologise in advance if you doze off while reading it. But I don't do these things in halves and well it's your fault you asked the questions. Don't feel like you must read all of these, you can just read your questions. (Click Ctrl and F and type in the name you used to ask questions and technology will lead you to the right place.) But do stay awhile and read it all if you want to! (You'd be a sport.) Make yourself cosy. Steal a chocolate bar. Whip up a cuppa coffee. (All bloggers say this and I betcha no reader is like, 'Okay' and goes to the kitchen, makes a cup of something and comes back to drink it while reading the post.)

Thank you for all your questions + I had a blast answering them. Now let's get into it!! (All pictures from Pinterest. That's how we roll here. And yes, they're random.)

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Ask Me Anything!


I normally (the 'norm' being twice) do a big Ask Me Anything in the summer, and I sort of did one this year, on Emma + me being together in zee flesh. 90% (well slight exaggeration there) of those questions were, 'How late did you stay up', 'what movies did you watch together' and 'when is Emma coming to visit Naomi?!' and they were fun questions. I will always have good memories of us two answering them behind the woodstack in Emma's garden. Which is also where I read A Northern Light which I kinda want to reread.

ANYWAY. BESIDES THE POINT LETS GET TO THE POINT:

I am doing another Ask Me Anything session. (You'd have never guessed by know.)

Ask me all zee questions, and I'll answer them all (maybe not all how you expect me to answer them; it all depends on whether or not I'm in a satirical mood or not when I answer them.) Ask me deep questions, nosy questions (can't promise detailed answers, but asking won't hurt), random questions with no purpose or reason whatsoever (I love those) and just, questions you've secretly been wanting to ask me for eons and eons. I know you've got them. (Ha.) (You're probably racking your brain right now, wearily thinking up some questions to make me feel loved. ;-P)

Comment them now. Onetwothreego.

And thanks. <3 :-)

Monday, 14 November 2016

Books I'd love to read. (+ chocolate.)


Hello, my dear apples and potatoes and chocolate-chip loving human beings, how is life? What's your new favourite word and are you reading any book of the Bible in particular? (My answers would be 'crumbs' and the gospel according to Mark.) Can you say 'Irish wrist watch' five times at a fairly fast pace? (After a lot of practise, I have succeeded.) (Yesterday was national tongue twister day, did ya know?) (Also, my big bro became freaking twenty yesterday. I had chocolate cake. And Maltesers. And more cake. And then a carrot to make me feel good about all the sugar.)

Today I'm going to talk about books that I want to read very badly. Some of these, hopefully, will be gifts for Christmas (eek!) (squee!) (yay!) but ya know, it's fun to talk about books and to read your comments on them. Tell me if any of these are terrible, so I can change my mind about them and not buy them after all. I might not listen though, but these all look dang good. (Also, some I'm just so curious about. I must read them all.)


Waves of Mercy by Lynn Austin

This is definitely the first in my list of BOOKS I YEARN TO POSSESS IN MY BOOKSHELF. So far all the reviews seem to be glowingly positive and the synopsis at the back seems so riveting. At first I didn't like the cover, but now I just want to hold it in my hands and GAZE at it.. bahhh I want to read this so bad. :-P I love the sound of it and I love the names of the characters and I love that the main character is Dutch. Also, it's Lynn Austin + historical fiction, which ultimately means excellent new favourite book




Crazy Love by Francis Chan

I've heard of this book a lot. Many bloggers have recommended it glowingly and many Goodreads friends have rated it five golden stars. I want to read this real bad. (Especially after the two bookish Mind the Gap episodes: 1 / 2 /) (Also, 'real bad' sounds so Southern American, ha.) I always love a good inspiring book and I've recently yearned to read a great faith-based book - sometimes I feel like I should read more than just fiction. ;-)


Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

I don't want to read this BUT YET I DO. It's so deliciously controversial and so deliciously famous and I yearn for more Scout Finch. I feel like my bookish inside-self can't settle down peacefully before I can claim to have read this book. But, of course, before I do, I must reread the MINDBLOWINGLY BRILLIANT To Kill a Mockingbird which I will love till I die. Also, I love Atticus. And I don't want to not to.





84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff

Someone recommended this to me after I once raved about The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society, saying that this book has a very similar concept, what with the letter-form and strangers becoming friends in random circumstances, and all that. Obviously, this makes me want to read this book because obviously and obviously. Oh and obviously. (Did I say duh?)



Steal like an Artist by Austin Kleon

The only thing that stops me from buying this darling (apparently ridiculously inspiring and drive-the-creative-ness-inside-you-mad-ing) is that it's not very LONG and therefore might be a disappointment. However, I still REALLY want to read this. I can just imagine how much it'll make me want to be crazy creative and judging from the amazon sneak peaks, it is adorable and darling and so inspirational.




The Complete Journals of Lucy Maud Montgomery

I WANT TO READ THIS SO BADLY. A sneaky peak inside the life of my favourite authoress? More sentences and words spun by this beautiful writer? Yes please yes. Unfortunately it is SO expensive to buy though, so I can't see this being in my possession any time to soon. But it's definitely high on my to-read list.

(Also, all these books. Give them.):


VoilΓ , a couple of gems I wish to devour. Do you have any books on your Christmas wish list? Tell me about them. Maybe also give me some words of consolation because after I hit publish I'm going to go downstairs and watch Downton Abbey Series 3 episode 5 which is the episode where the nicest character under the roof dies. SOMEONE HELP ME. SOMEONE HOLD MY HAND.

I sincerely hope each and every one of you is enjoying this confusing and beautiful and bronze month, and that you're keeping yourself busy and inspired. I recommend making jokes about awkward things and keeping firm hold of the amazing word of God. God is amazing. I love Him. I also recommend Michael Buble songs and Doris Day songs and chocolate hazelnut bars and big sweaters. Have a great night darlings. Remember that you're sleeping under beautiful silver stars.

(It is evening as I write, so therefore it is evening for all of you. ;-P)

Friday, 11 November 2016

Why smoking can save your life.


Gather around the fire, snuggle in your favourite blanket, and let me tell you a story.

Once there was a chap called Douglas Yate. Let's give him the last name Oakson, even though it wasn't really his last name. I am changing the last name for privacy's sake. Douglas lived back in the old early 1900's, when the first World War loomed over Britain and Europe and the World like a black, dark cloud. I don't know much about Douglas, but I can tell you that he was born in Liverpool, that he had a younger brother called Godfrey and that he liked playing cricket.

Douglas had just turned eighteen when World War One started. I can imagine the pressure he must have felt to enlist, and the horrible excitement attached to the hustle of the experience. I can imagine what he must have felt in the trenches, when he first arrived, hoping fiercely that the war would soon be over. Little did he know that the nightmare would go on and on, for four years. Like many - if not, all - men, he felt the war keenly and was traumatised by the events he had experienced. Years along the road, when his children and grandchildren asked him about his experience as a soldier, he wouldn't speak of it. I suppose the refusal to talk about it speaks a million words.

So yes, he enlisted and went to France as a sniper. Snipers shot from hidden places, maintaining close visual contact with the enemy. It must have been a nerve-wracking job. His life was at stake and he had to play some kind of detective-like role alongside it. Snipers normally operated alone, or with two, so I can imagine the War years might not have been Douglas' most cosy years. Godfrey served too, in an anti-gas regiment. He was gassed (I suppose it wasn't that anti-gas, after all) but he survived.

Douglas survived too, but he wouldn't have had he not smoked.

More yet, if he had not smoked, I would not be here today, writing this blog post about how smoking can save your life. Douglas was my great-grandfather. I've never met him, but I've always loved this story. Today is November the eleventh, so I suppose it's only appropriate to tell you this little tale on how smoking can save your life today.

Trenches were how we imagine them - muddy, dirty, freezing in the winter, suffocating in the summer, filled with fleas and rats. Letters and cigarettes were the angels in shining armour, giving the chaps some distraction and some escape. I can imagine how the smell of the cigarettes and tobacco made them close their eyes and remember a life somewhere else. It worked as a sort of drug, I assume, giving them a sense of peace and relaxation. Letters gave them smiles on their faces, to hear the voices of loved ones and to read about random things going on back home.

Smoking involved tobacco, and tobacco was often (or in Douglas' case, anyway) saved in a tin package. Douglas saved said tin package in his khaki breast pocket.

It was time to charge ahead. Douglas might have been familiar with this, but I am sure his heart was beating wildly and his brain was racing with prayers to heaven, just like all his fellow chaps around him. I can imagine him forcing himself to remain strong and clenching his teeth, knowing he had to get through this. Maybe he thought of a good smoke as a reward afterwards and calmed himself by a tiny notch.

Then it started; bomb shells exploding, mud and blood spats shattering the air and the ground like fireworks of death. The sounds of men groaning in agony, small and quiet between the blaring roars of explosions and fierce gun shots. It must have been hell. Many soldiers were killed by flying shrapnel. Bits of explosions whacking against their head, their breast, and flinging them to a sudden death. Douglas would have died had the tin package with tobacco inside not been in his pocket. He was wounded, but not killed, and he recovered.

So don't you ever say smoking doesn't save lives. As my granddad said, "I owe my existence to the habit." :-)

(I could have told you this story in two sentences and look how I elaborated. I knew I was a writer.)

Saturday, 5 November 2016

This week.


(Edit: I'd like to mention that this was half-term week, so we were off school. ;-P)

Sunday

Church :: The choir master: "Anyone has trouble with the notes?" Me: *randomly happened to look at one of the tenors* The tenor I randomly looked at: "Why are you looking at ME?" :: Talked about Sense and Sensibility with a friend after Church. She has this copy and I kinda want it okay, you can give that me. :: Having a great-uncle and great-aunt on a visit. (Our Downton Abbey protegees!) :: Pasta and tomato sauce. :: Listening to stories about my ancestors and discovering that my great-great-grandfather wrote a book about his WW1 experience and I didn't know. MUST READ. :: Ordering a Christmas Present on amazon for a dear friend in my bed.

Monday

Sending letters to different corners of the world. Sealing them with pink and blue wax, and walking to the red post box hidden in some bush with two of my sisters to post them. I like that you have to walk several roads to post letters in Belgium. There's something about it. (Lazy Americans. ;-P) :: Mint green kitchen doors painted by Mama and buying lipstick for Christmas. :: Journalling. :: Also, the highlight of Monday? watching the epic collab with Adler Davidson and Jordan Taylor at least ten times. THE ENDING. I died laughing.

Tuesday

French All Saints day service in the morning. :: Fun visitors. :: Making millions of stupid puns and actually had an audience who laughed. I loved this visit - we went to the attic and talked about silly things and laughed about silly things. :: A Pictionary game in which I was in the winning team. :: Best chocolate chip muffins ever. :: Loads of Michael BublΓ© songs. (HIS VOICE IS VELVET. *swoon*)

Wednesday

An hour (or more) long chat with Emma, involving a terrible 2-minute face-time session in which I saw some of her family members' faces again which was really lovely. Only, it froze because Internet is lame. :: THIS SONG. It's ridiculously fun. :: Downton Abbey in the evening - the deliciously beautifully perfect Season 2 Christmas Special. :: Publishing two blog posts in one day and getting overwhelmed with kind kind comments.

Thursday

Mama went to Ikea and came back with three adorable cacti plants in pink pots for me. They're called Gilly, Nancy and Peter. (Picture above are Gilly, Nancy and Peter, from right to left. Peter is the stout one.) :: Downton Abbey Season Three Episode One in the evening, which involved completely unpredictable weddings and grandmother battles and footmen on stilts :: Michael BublΓ© songs. Again. :: wasting time. It was probably more fun than it should've been.

Friday 

Epic Word War with Emma, in which we type at our novelettes and ignore the fact that were are so not the fastest typers in the world, what with people like Julia writing insane amounts in one day. We consoled each other about our lack of writing-ness. :: Another epic Jordan + Adler collab. Watched it about 20 times. ::

Youth Group in the evening. Playing innocent murder games in the dark, and epic creepy hide and seeks. And 'the bin game', which includes the fifteen-year-old boy next to me almost ripping out my entire arm, which was fun. Then we had a bonfire and marshmallows on sticks. People saying, 'Quick quick catch it it's melting' and people asking where the fork is. (In which I but in with a lame joke, 'I forkot where I put it' and someone politely laughs while 90% of the people didn't even hear it.) Unfinished bonfire songs that end awkwardly because people forgot the lyrics. Bonfire story time about Billy Graham, and then a second innocent murder game. It was really fun.

Saturday

Reading a Julie Klassen book in two hours because we were taking it to the library at ten o'clock in the morning and I had to finish it. :: Re-sending a birthday card that didn't post properly when I posted it on Monday. :: Randomly showering at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. :: Pita bread and baked beans. :: Downton Abbey in the evening, huddled in my white flowered fleece blanket. :: Wondering if handwriting traits are genetic. Are they? Because like, my dad's handwriting is nothing like his mum's and just a teensy bit like his dad's.

It's been a good week. ;-)

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

THE random-est post to DATE.

Before I start the post I'd like to say that I want to be this man when I grow up:


And if someone came and said, 'Write a poem on my left shoelace,' I'd be like:

Shoelaces.
Soft as the ocean.
White as teeth behind braces.
Tying up shoes, like worries.
Making left feet ready for races.
On the right; they're fine.
But what would we do
Without left shoelaces.



Okay, hi ladies and gentlemen, what was the last sugary thing you ate? (What a great replacement question to the stinkingly dull, 'how are you' that no-one ever answers.)

People all over the blogging world are participating in National Novel Writing Month, the clocks have changed in Belgium and darkness gathers at the tender hour of four o'clock in the afternoon, and Matthew Crawley's proposal to Mary made me cry tonight even though I've seen the scene about 100 times on Youtube. You might say that's a small summary of my life right now.

(By the way, do you think these people are facing the camera or the other way?)



Hey, you know what, let's do something extremely random and vote about this thing of no consequence whatsoever:


Do you think these people are facing the camera or the other way?



pollcode.com free polls

(And now we'll stop analysing random pictures and continue with the post.)
(And yeah, I know I've posted yesterday and today already, but it's been years since I've posted two posts in one day, so I'll do it. I won't post anything for the rest of week to balance off the extremity. Publish 'em when you write 'em, that's how I do things.)


In case you couldn't tell, I felt like writing a random post. Filled with little parts of my brain, and making a soup of random Wonderland Creek-ness. 

I could have random questions such as:

Why is society like 'everyone has to be themselves, everyone is different' as their motto and then ALL the teenagers come to school wearing skinny jeans? (I wear skinny jeans a lot too, but I just added perspective to the world. ;-P)
Why is eye make-up a thing and lip-make-up a thing, but there are no special nose make-up-projects? Noses are often the ugliest parts of a persons face.
Why, when I make my characters say (sincerely!) "Thank God!" it sounds less sincere than when I make them say "Thank the Lord!"? 
Why is this picture so cute when it actually might mean that the guy can't control the shift stick of the car which means that they might have both died after some awkward-third-party-guy took the picture from the back seat?



I could paste random writing snippets of random things I am writing in the honour of the National Novel Writing Month (I refuse to abbreviate it to NaNoWriMo):

Henffordd was Welsh for ‘Old Road.’ Over time they squashed the Welsh words ‘Henn’ and ‘Ffordd’ into one, and now no-one questioned it. It’s like ‘okay’, which used to be ‘all correct’ and somehow, over the course of our silly human history managed to end up as ‘okay.’ Maybe in one hundred years or so, it’ll be ‘Bokey.’ And we’ll say, ‘Bokey, I’ll go and fetch the salt for you.’

I went to Gayl the following weekend to try to get this stupid thing out of my head. We went to a pub with a small group of friends and ate chips with our fingers. We listened to the cute guy playing jaunty Scott Joplin tunes on the piano and we played card games while drinking coke or beer till the clock stroke 11:00 and we decided it was time to leave. We made an epic group selfie with our ugliest faces. It was blurry and dark, but it was epic.

The next day, my Mum told me at breakfast, “Anna. I have to tell you something.” 
My fingers dug into the toast. My jaw clenched on a crispy piece of bacon. I knew what was coming. “I know, Mama,” I said. “I read it on the wall.”

I was slightly nervous. How on earth was I supposed to know who the creep was? Should I just sit awkwardly and wait, or should I pretend to be glamorous and order some tall glass with rosy gin? I went for the former, dismissed waiters with the ‘I’m waiting for someone’, and looked at the strangers on their evenings out.

‘You were right all the time,’ Laura said. There was an achingly sad melody in her eyes. Like an old Jewish violin piece. ‘I should never have gone out. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.’ 
My heart wept for her. 
‘It’s okay,’ I whispered hoarsely. 
‘Joe is a wonderful man. You have a wonderful time!’ 
‘Thank you, Laura,’ I said. ‘I think I will.’ 
Then I opened the door and there stood Joe, looking really good. As in, WOW HANDSOME WHAT. 

(The last one is from a different story as the first four. The last one is from the one I once shared other snippets of, for those of you who remember. ;-)) (Those who remember are true Wonderland Creek followers. Otherwise, go, you unfaithful servant.) (YOU KNOW I AM JOKING DON'T LEAVE.)


(The boy in the picture might have fallen badly and twisted his ankle, so lets all take a moment to remember the pain he must have suffered.)

I could tell you random stuff that have been going on my life lately, such as me enjoying a weeks holiday (half term!!!) and that we have workmen redoing our roof and that yesterday we had pumpkin soup for dinner and that miss being in with my American friends like I was back in June and that I read two books today (okay, 1 book and the un-amputated half of the other.) (Actually it wasn't an amputated book, it had all the 400 pages on it. It was just a book not worth finishing.) and I could tell you that The Downton Abbey Season Two Christmas Special is just... ugh, so so so good.


(Random fact: according to the sad statistics, at least 8 of the children on this picture were bullied in school.)

I could list some random things that have made me happy recently:
The sound of hole-punchers.
Lame puns.
People who actually laugh when I make lame puns.
Drawing.
Comments from awesome people like Miss Meg, Rae and Eowyn, just to name a few.
NOT being behind on Goodreads.
My parents.
Sending off letters.
Walking to the postbox with my little sisters. (They squabbled over who could put the letters into the hole in the red box.)
Dark evenings. I looove them.
Mint-green kitchen doors.


Do you know what else I could randomly do?

I could randomly end thi

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

If Period Drama Characters had Internet Bios #3

(Back with this again. ;-))


ANNE OF GREEN GABLES

@Cordelia_Shirley My life long sorrows include my red hair and people spelling 'Anne' without its last letter. I love long words and I relish in nature, kindred spirits and beautiful bedrooms.
@GilbertBlythe if I tease you, don't take it badly I was just playing around cuz you're awesome. // Major in English
@MatthewCuthbert Anne, what should I write here?
@Marilla Stop whining, be useful. Life is short, there is no time for useless furbelows.
@That_Rachel Yes, I'm the lady who knows. #secondjeeves Love knitting and chatting. Neighbours are my friends.
@Diana_Barry Raven black hair // Actually, it's slightly less black than the colour of ravens.
@Fredwright Hi.
@JOSIEPYE heyyyyy there i'm an aspiring actress and i have the best beau okay so i'm pretty much wonderful. follow
@Jane_Andrews_1999 Avonlea high school.
@RubyGillis5 Lyfe is short so be nice to everyone and have loads of beaux because duh!
@MoodySpurgeon i'm that kid with the mouse who laughed funny and with ginger hair. that's bout it.
@Charlie_Sloan @Cordelia_Shirely welcome to Avonlea! lol #crush
@PrissyAndrews I LOVE school. I'm really bad though and I kneed loads of help. But its ok!
@MrPhilips Ys I was that tachr and thn I lft. (Fill in the e's.)
@Miss_Stacy Honoured to teach in Avonlea. I love my children. Also, tea!
@MrandMrsAllan Working in the ministry. Whatever you do, do it well.
@Josephine_thegreataunt I live in the great city. I pay NICE girls for their music lessons. Nice girls do not jump on beds.
@Mrs_Barry Children must be not seen + not heard. Besides, the outside air is good for them.
@MinnieMay account run by my mother.


NORTH AND SOUTH

@Margaret_Hale Helstone girl stuck in the busy life of Milton. Be kind to ALL people, no matter how different they are from you.
@JohnThornton Mill owner. Stick to the rules or the whole system collapses.
@Mr_Hale Theology and language. Do you want to come to my class? Starts at 8:00 PM tonight, do join!
@MrsHale Life is hard, why did we leave Helstone?
@Thorntons_Mama My boy John is my ROCK and he does everything so well! #sticktotherules
@FANNY_thornton i can't live without a piano. i hate stickinthemuds. i am rich. am i?
@Nicholas_Higgins WE MUST MAKE OUR VOICES KNOWN. #NOGOINGBACK #STRIKE #NOGIVINGUP
@Bessy_Higgins Well, I suppose you can go through this thing called life with a laugh.
@Boucher I must give in bc i need to help my family. i have six kids; help plz!!!!!!!!
@Dixon12 I've got @MrsHale's back and I wish her the best. But I do need some help with the ironing.
@Fred_Hale Spain . Dolores . British boy . Innocent . Ssh .
@MrBell The godfather who had a more important role than people realise. I'm where the money is.
@HenryLennox London and @Margaret_Hale and that's it I think.
@CousinEdith Send letters to your loved ones! // Happy wife // Just became a mother!


LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE

@MrIngalls_Charles Everything's gonna be just fine. My beautiful wife and daughters make me the luckiest man alive.
@Caroline_Ingalls Selling eggs for my living // Homestead Mama and Wife // Used to teach // John1:1
@MaryIngalls The saying blondes have more fun isn't exactly true when one has younger sisters.
@the.Laura.Ingalls If I had a remembrance book I would write about Jack, Pa, my own window, and the beautiful prairies.
@CARRIE_ifell running in prairies is harder than it looks. also, being the youngest is unfair!
@Albert_Ingalls Adopted son number one. Coincidentally, I look like @MrIngalls_Charles! Also, Laura and I have the best adventures.
@MrEdwards ol' dan tucker was a fine ol' man / tobacco + Santa and I are best buds!
@MissBeadle I love my pupils and I love a good doze of lemon verbina. It's the little things!
@HARRIET_OLESON I run the Oleson's Mercantile; without a doubt the best store anyplace near Walnut Grove. My children are DARLINGS and I love them.
@NelsOleson2 I run the Oleson's Mercantile with my wife. Father of two. Candy is bad for your teeth.
@THE.NELLIE.OLESON Town-girl through and through. Got a real doll for my birthday. It's like, the 20th doll I own. I have a remembrance book. #blondesDOhavemorefuninmycase
@WillieOleson55 pa, ma said i could be online so there! and candy is good. who cares about teeth!
@MrHanson I run the mill // Swedish //
@Reverend_Aldan I sometimes use metaphors in my sermons. Onwards Christian soldiers!
@Doctor_Baker I'm a dentist, an optician, a herbal adviser, a physician, a vet, you name it. (But not a farmer)
@Manly_Wilder dude, it's cool! I love horses and food and girls who call me Manly! (The name Almanzo sucks.)